Marriage So Far

Very soon, Skaja and I will be exchanging the wedding rings that I hope we’ll be wearing for the rest of our lives. We got legally married in British Columbia, Canada this May, but didn’t have rings to exchange with each other until later so we’re going to have a small ceremony and a celebration with some close friends. Our relationship has seen some troubles, but I think that for the most part, we’ve been doing well for ourselves and that we’ve been good for each other. Skaja has pushed me to break a lot of barriers that I had raised around myself. I’ve done my best to share the thoughts that I use to keep myself calm and collected with Skaja to allow her to stay centered and stable enough to accomplish the things that she hopes to do. We’ve given each other someone to care about and take care of that we both dearly needed. We’ve spent so much time sharing ourselves and our environment with each other and changed each other enough that neither of is is the same person we were before; that each one of us is the part of the other that has always been missing.

When I got married, I knew that Skaja and I would be taking our two separate lives weaving them into one. That we would become accountable to each other and that we would have to communicate and work out our differences, but there were other things that took me by surprise. It demands more trust than I ever thought I would extend to any human being other than my parents. It has meant that there’s another person with more influence over me than I thought I would allow anyone to have ever. It’s led me to tolerate and deal with issues that I thought I had refused to ever allow into my life again. It has given me a new perspective on me and forced me to see some flaws in my character that I’ve been more than willing to pay any price to ignore until I finally learned that when someone loves you and you do something wrong, they pay the price when you do something wrong. I hope to be able to apply that lesson to my relationships with other people I love.

I try very hard to not take it for granted that she’ll always be there no matter what and to not lose sight of all of the things that she brings into my life. I try to make sure that I’m always finding things of value to offer her and that I’m making myself into a better partner for her and myself. I hope that as we change, we’ll be able to keep communicating with each other and making the best of the circumstances that we find ourselves in and that we step forward to meet our life; building and shaping it to make it our own.