Have I enough spoons?

Have you heard the concept of having enough spoons? I encourage you to click through the link and read the essay, but in short, The Spoon Theory explains how people, especially those with disorders or illnesses have limited energy throughout any given day. I think the theory can apply to those without disorders, too. Granted, I have what is mostly an invisible disorder (personality disorders aren’t something that are always visible), but for the most part, I function fairly well. Many people I know with mental or physical issues also manage fairly well, and most people wouldn’t even notice the issue.

Anyway, Sam and I have been debating and discussing the various products that we’ve been buying over the past year, and the blogs/websites we read as we figure out what it is we want to do with our life. We’re in a relatively bittersweet situation that affords us to not have to hold down a “real job” right now, although I do want to point out that I have a freelance “job” doing various admin tasks for one of my best friends. Sam holds a very valid concern that we are taking on too many things (spoons). And I understand his concern, however I know enough about myself that if I’m not kept very busy I will fidget or get easily caught up reading Facebook all day. (Don’t get me started on playing the games on there for 3 weeks straight. What a waste of time for me.)

Most weeks, we don’t have many days that are unscheduled. I mean we have a mostly unscheduled life, with not many scheduled commitments, but most days we have a list of things we want to do. You probably do, too. Besides our usual housekeeping and errands, care and feeding of our cats, and other small tasks, we also enjoy supporting a local theater company by going to performances, we go to the opera and to concerts, art festivals and coffee shops. We’re also working on downsizing our possessions and still unpacking from our move in February. There are also other daily life things that don’t happen often, but can be time consuming (there’s a story about buying our car coming soon). On top of those things are informational calls, keeping up with blogs of interest, and thinking a lot about what we want to do with our life.

Granted, these are things we’ve chosen to do. No one forced us to buy tickets to the theater or a concert. No one made me sign up for calls. No one twisted my arm to read blogs or buy ebooks. No one has made us sign up for the things we’re doing now (and that are coming up).

These are things we have chosen to do. I guess my point is that at what point do you say that you’re committed to enough? Or too much? If you look down the list of products we use, you’ll see what I think is an impressive (and mind-boggling) list. Of course we’re not actively doing some of these things everyday. Some are occasional tools in our “life toolkit” that we pull out when we need some clarity. Others are everyday, no matter what things that we choose to do.

I told Sam on the day Chris Guillebeau’s Empire Building Kit launched that I was planning to put a personal moratorium on committing to any more classes or courses for a year. Which is a long time. There are a couple of exceptions, which we were aware of when I made this declaration. And I even felt like I was breaking my own promise when I talked to Sam about Question the Rules [affiliate link]. (He assured me that I wasn’t.)

Because he knows me. I have to keep busy. When we watch tv (yes, we still have one, though it’s used mostly to watch Burn Notice on dvd or for Sam to unwind playing video games), I’m usually just listening to it in the background because I’m either reading, or listening to something else.

Silence does not work well in the O’Brien/Wills household.

Returning to The Spoon Theory, it could be argued that I use up a number of my spoons just functioning everyday, leaving me with few to use to do anything with the business Sam and I want to start. On the other hand, I’m a fairly high-functioning Borderline on most days (in my opinion) and I have a lot of energy and spoons available for everything I want to get done. It’s on those days that part of me fears I might take on too many projects and get myself in over my head. It’s very easy for me to start things, and more difficult to finish them (a classic Aries trait). And I believe this is where Sam gets most concerned.

For now, I feel like I have enough on my figurative plate, and enough spoons to handle it all. The next time one of my internet heroes announces a call or a class, though, and I’ll have to stop and consider it all over again.

What about you? How do you determine whether you’re doing too little, just enough or too much? How do you get through the day without running out of spoons? Let me know either through email (blog at banterstudio dot com), or leave a comment below.